Thursday, May 31, 2007
CELEBRATIONS
These are some thoughts for those of you who are dealing with the loss of a child, and have to get through that first year, and its celebrations, and holidays.
I found,that when facing that first Mother's Day,I just didn't think I was gonna make it.Right then,I decided that I was gonna grab the bull by the horns, and throw
a big celebration in honor of my son's birthday.I called some of his friends for dinner and we had steak and potatoes. We all told laughable stories about his escapades as if he were still there! We laughed and laughed, and everyone had a memorable time(Me included!)
At Thanksgiving,I placed his name card at an empty plate, but that meant to me, that he was still here!
At Christmas,I hung his stocking on the stairs and placed some yellow roses in it.I've done this now for 12 years. My daughter wrote our blessing for that first Christmas dinner, and it was in tribute to her brother, which gave her a huge amount of healing.
There are lots of things you can do, to heal.....
They take time, and the willingness to want to heal......
My thoughts and prayers are with you......
Becky
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1 comment:
Becky,
I love your idea to truly celebrate the children we have lost. The sweetest thing by far that my friends have done is throw a beach party on April 21st, what would have been Jacob's 19th birthday. As I contemplated what that day would hold for us, I honestly didn't know if I could even get out of bed that morning. By throwing this party, our friends got us not only outdoors, but to the place Jacob loved to be the most--the beach. The day still wasn't easy, but for those hours, the time flew by and we were allowed to talk about Jacob freely without feeling like we were burdening anyone with our stories. Friends had come to celebrate Jacob, so it made sense for us to talk about him.
Just last night, my husband Michael and I talked about our last family trip which started exactly a year ago today. On the night of June 1st, we ate in downtown Seattle, and Jacob ordered the most expensive item on the menu--crab legs and steak. He had more food than he could possibly consume, but he ordered dessert on top of everything else. He was having a blast and it did our hearts good to see him enjoy himself so much. Jacob loved fine food and beautiful surroundings. Imagine what he is experiencing in heaven!!!!! Anyway, Michael and I decided, especially on the heels of your suggestion, to celebrate every June 1st by going out for crab legs. We will toast Jacob and leave an extra nice tip since Jacob always encouraged Michael to do that whenever we ate out. Jacob really hounded Michael about the tip that night in Seattle.
By the way, tipping generously is one way Michael and I celebrate Jacob every time we go out. We leave at least a 20% tip or a minimum of $2. We smile and think of Jacob each time we do it. Jacob worked as a busboy at two different restaurants on the island and had a real appreciation for good tippers.
Another way we have decided to celebrate Jacob is to begin a foundation in his memory. Through that foundation we are able to support things Jacob was passionate about. Anyone who is curious to see what it is like can find it at www.j9foundation.org
Thanks for your words of encouragement! You are a blessing!
Sandy
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