Thursday, May 31, 2007
ANOTHER YEAR
Where do I begin,ladies? Another year has gone by and another Mama has given back to God, her precious child.....
It's hard, we know.....There ought to be a law against it,right?
You'd think that after carrying that little thing for close to nine months and watching them grow up,that it would give us some kind of guarantee,......... but no!
As scripture says,"He chose me; I did not choose Him", so I kinda like to think that He "chose" me to carry this special task, because He knew I would be able to go through the whole process of giving my son back, and not be bitter, or angry.Afterall, he was God's child, long before He created him for me.
Anyhoo,this time together, is really about a bunch of Mom's who come together and heal......
It may take time, but that's okay.We don't push anything on anybody.I just happen to love my Lord deeply, and it shows.He carried me through a brain hemorrage and being in a coma for 2 months, and much more, so I trust in Him an awful lot!
We share alot of neat ideas and talk about our children, in an atmosphere where it's safe to do so. You don't have anybody telling you NOT to keep talking about them, and that's so special.
These ladies are friends now. Friends I may never have met, had I not lost my son. Oh,I would take him back, in a skinny minute, but, ya know, when you love the Lord, you can rest assured that you will see them again, and we do!
I love the fact, that I have a son in Heaven, who has some friends in Heaven, that he didn't know here on earth, and that they have the neatest mother's,that I do know here on earth!
All because of my son........
Becky
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Becky,
At I stand 8 months out from my son Jacob's death, I can't claim to be free from anger yet. Just yesterday I was screaming at God, "How could you do this? Why would you do this?" There are days when accepting Jacob's death is easier than others. It is NEVER easy, is it? At times I can even say I have "celebrated" the fact that Jacob is with Jesus in heaven, but the harsh reality is that it means he is not here with me and my husband and our daughter, Raleigh. As you said, I'd take him back in a skinny minute!
Just wanted to share with you my feelings about my first weekend with the Moms:
First, I wanted to be there. I knew somehow that it would be good to be around other moms who have lost a child. My friends and family have been wonderful, but with the exception of one, none of them have walked this path before. They can't possibly know how painful it is to lose a child, but the moms at this weekend know.
Second, while I didn't know any of the other moms, I came with Addison,another mom who had lost her child over two years ago, but was attending for the first time. Let me add, however, that Addison and I only met because we live in the same community and we both lost a son. In other words, it was the deaths of our sons that brought us together. We didn't know each other until after our sons had died. I had no idea what a sweet friendship I was missing out on!
Third, the moment Addison and I walked in the door, we knew we were in the right place. The love and compassion that flowed from every mom was real. It felt like home. No one was richer, smarter, prettier than anyone else because we were all brought to the same place by the loss of a child or children we love so dearly. Every person's story was just as important and just as tragic, no matter what it was.
Fourth, I was so blessed to have the common ground of our faith. I honestly had no idea going into this whether or not everyone was a Christian and would have the same hope of seeing their child again that I had. How could I even speak to someone who didn't share that hope? How could I offer someone without faith any hope and what could they offer me? Please don't misunderstand me. I don't believe I am superior to anyone because of my faith. I was simply concerned that the stories of my experiences since my son's death would fall on deaf ears, or at least highly skeptical ears, if we didn't share the same faith. I didn't want to know that I'd just get through this. I wanted to know that my mourning would turn into dancing as a result of God's unending mercy and grace. I saw such dancing in the women who gathered that weekend and it gave me hope.
If you are a mom who has lost a child and wondering whether or not to attend one of these weekends, let me just say, "Do it!" Even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone and leaving other precious children or your sweet husband for a few days, it is worth it. Let me give you this fair warning, however. The time spent with these women is such a genuine blessing that when you return to the "real world" it can be a rude awakening. It's still gonna be worth it!!!!
Love to all of you wonderful ladies who are a part of these weekends and especially to any who find themselves newly qualified to attend. We would rather that no more mothers would ever have to let go of a child.
Sandy N. (Precious)
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