MY LOSS..............YOUR GAIN

These are some afternoon thoughts to you all, from my heart.....
Seems like everytime I get ready to go over and be with my "Mom's", I am inundated with questions, from friends, on what to say to people when they lose a child. I have thought about this, and decided to write some thoughts down and pass them along to you.I hope these will be helpful words for you in comforting those you come in contact with who are grieving over the loss of a child.....
(It doesn't have to be just a child either)
Usually, the first question I am asked,is :"What do I say?" You don't erally have to say anything,folks.If you just open your arms wide, and give them time to hug, and weep, if they want to, that is the greatest thing, you can do!
They know that their child is gone, and is not coming back, so what could you say?
Let them talk, and talk and talk.....
One of the greatest things you can do, is to let them talk about their child as much as they want. Remind them about all the neat and precious things about thier child.
You may think you are sparing them pain, by not talking about their loss, but in reality, that's all they want to do.........Let them talk!
I remember coming home from the hospital to find a neighbor cleaning up inside my house;another neighbor fixing lunch; another neighbor answering the phone and still another answering the door......Nobody told them what to do! They just stepped in and did these things. One "secret" person, even planted bulbs out front, because she knew I was getting ready to, and wanted me to have them in the spring.
These were constant reminders of God's love in action, and many of them never said a word. Some brought flowers from their own garden's....something that simple.
It's the idea that you are thinking about them, that makes that mom,or person feel so blessed.When I was in the receiving line at the funeral home,I remember looking up, and seeing my Home Economics Teacher and my 8th grade teacher in line. They were driving all the way home to Florida and called my house in Aiken. One of my friends told them what had happened, and they drove over to the funeral home just to see me..........They are still very dear to me to this day! It's those kinds of things that make Mom's appreciate what you do for us.....
Drop a note of encouragement after a few weeks.....
Place something in their honor,at a charity.....that is a big honor to us!
Establish a memory garden somewhere for those who have died, where everybody can donate plants in their memory.(and the memory of anyone who has died)....... I did this at my church in Aiken!
On their first birthday away, have a celebration dinner for that Mom and her family,if they are close friends, and allow them to celebrate his life.
Bringing pictures and sharing them are good too.
Just be yourself and give your love. God will bless your efforts.
I'm sorry I took so long, but this has been weighing on my mind.I hope it has been of some help to you......
Love you......Becky