Tuesday, September 25, 2007
TO GOD BE THE GLORY
"To God be the glory......
Great things He hath done......"
.....and the greatest was to give us His Son!
We have His Son...
He has ours!
What a comfort for this Mom....
Becky
Monday, September 24, 2007
SEE YOU IN SEPTEMBER
This September found the Mom's Who Lost Children", adding some more mom's into its family. In so doing, we decided that in order to maintain the integrity of our "Mom's" weekend, and its purposes, we have chosen to establish some founding principles to help us along the way......
In our quest to glorify the Lord, through our losses, and further honor our children, we feel that following a framework of guidelines, will provide a safe and constructive atmosphere for healing.
We have listed these below:
1.) The main thing,is to keep the main thing,the main thing......and that's our Lord & our children!
2.) God is our centerpiece.....our speech and actions will reflect this!
3.)Our childen are the guest of honor!.....Let's give "them" the honor they are due!
4.)There is a code of confidentiality!.....It is imperative to keep our thoughts within our walls!
5.)Protect the integrity of our group!....Respect the view points of others as pertaining to their child!
6.) This is not a place to air our dirty laundry, but to share empathy,peace & comfort!
We listed below, some very helpful tidbits for us......
I hope they will be of benefit to you.
1.)We found that watching the "Chonda Pierce" DVD, and sharing her comments were a must.We needed to laugh, and she is a wonderful christian comedian.
2.)Giving to the J9 Foundation (Check it out on michael@j9foundation.org )The son of one of our Mom's
3.) Watching the Ken Davis"Good News" DVD.( He is an exceptionally funny comedian too!)
4.) The following list of helpful books:
Heaven by Randy Alcorn
When I Lay My Isaac Down, by Carol Kent
Intramuras,by Rebecca Reuter Springer
Shattered Dreams,by Larry Crabb
Streams In The Desert....my favorite!
Hope For The Hurting Heart & Eat Your Peas for Tough Times,by Cheryl Karpen
Take the time, many months,later, to speak to that mom, and tell her how much you miss her child. That in itself, will encourage her so very much!
Another neat site to go to, is a website called http://www.memory-of.com/ . This is where you can create your own memorial for your child, with your own background. Several mom's who have done this, have said it was great therapy for them!
Now, this next thought, is a winner............
We have all had those dear friends, who, through no fault of their own, have said those words that have hurt us. They just weren't thinking,or just haven't been down our road before.......
This is where God really calls upon you to do what you don't think you can, ..........and without Him, you can't!........We liked the phrase......"Forgive "Job's" friends! They offered him all kinds of advice, for his own good(yeah right!), but Job, still trusted in God, so forgive those who keep harping at you to "get over this time".............You will get through it, when God is ready for you to get through it!
The mom's are all in agreement that we want this to be a safe place to gather, and express ourselves.
We all have different thoughts on what helped us heal, along the way, but this time of fellowship, has truly been a blessing for all of us.
Liz said it best,I think.......
The first time she came into the house, she was nervous, not knowing anyone, but by the time she crossed the room, she was family!.....How true! How true!
We reminded each other to follow up on those thoughts we have,several years after someone dies, and to contact the parents with our thoughts. This is a big step!
We enjoyed our long hours of talks, but really enjoyed the rest too!
One of the Mom's suggested, that as years go by, if you have a need to speak with someone about an objectionable issue, that you speak quietly to another individual in more private setting......
We are thinking of changing our name to "Good Grief", and since we seem to be adding more mom's all the time, we would have chapter's all over.....Like "Good Grief-Aiken";"Good Grief-Beaufort,".etc.......
This will be an interesting change,if this 'ole girl can figure out how to change her blogsite!!!
We are looking to March,'08, now, with adding even more Mom's!
Hope these thoughts have helped you some......
Becky
In our quest to glorify the Lord, through our losses, and further honor our children, we feel that following a framework of guidelines, will provide a safe and constructive atmosphere for healing.
We have listed these below:
1.) The main thing,is to keep the main thing,the main thing......and that's our Lord & our children!
2.) God is our centerpiece.....our speech and actions will reflect this!
3.)Our childen are the guest of honor!.....Let's give "them" the honor they are due!
4.)There is a code of confidentiality!.....It is imperative to keep our thoughts within our walls!
5.)Protect the integrity of our group!....Respect the view points of others as pertaining to their child!
6.) This is not a place to air our dirty laundry, but to share empathy,peace & comfort!
We listed below, some very helpful tidbits for us......
I hope they will be of benefit to you.
1.)We found that watching the "Chonda Pierce" DVD, and sharing her comments were a must.We needed to laugh, and she is a wonderful christian comedian.
2.)Giving to the J9 Foundation (Check it out on michael@j9foundation.org )The son of one of our Mom's
3.) Watching the Ken Davis"Good News" DVD.( He is an exceptionally funny comedian too!)
4.) The following list of helpful books:
Heaven by Randy Alcorn
When I Lay My Isaac Down, by Carol Kent
Intramuras,by Rebecca Reuter Springer
Shattered Dreams,by Larry Crabb
Streams In The Desert....my favorite!
Hope For The Hurting Heart & Eat Your Peas for Tough Times,by Cheryl Karpen
Take the time, many months,later, to speak to that mom, and tell her how much you miss her child. That in itself, will encourage her so very much!
Another neat site to go to, is a website called http://www.memory-of.com/ . This is where you can create your own memorial for your child, with your own background. Several mom's who have done this, have said it was great therapy for them!
Now, this next thought, is a winner............
We have all had those dear friends, who, through no fault of their own, have said those words that have hurt us. They just weren't thinking,or just haven't been down our road before.......
This is where God really calls upon you to do what you don't think you can, ..........and without Him, you can't!........We liked the phrase......"Forgive "Job's" friends! They offered him all kinds of advice, for his own good(yeah right!), but Job, still trusted in God, so forgive those who keep harping at you to "get over this time".............You will get through it, when God is ready for you to get through it!
The mom's are all in agreement that we want this to be a safe place to gather, and express ourselves.
We all have different thoughts on what helped us heal, along the way, but this time of fellowship, has truly been a blessing for all of us.
Liz said it best,I think.......
The first time she came into the house, she was nervous, not knowing anyone, but by the time she crossed the room, she was family!.....How true! How true!
We reminded each other to follow up on those thoughts we have,several years after someone dies, and to contact the parents with our thoughts. This is a big step!
We enjoyed our long hours of talks, but really enjoyed the rest too!
One of the Mom's suggested, that as years go by, if you have a need to speak with someone about an objectionable issue, that you speak quietly to another individual in more private setting......
We are thinking of changing our name to "Good Grief", and since we seem to be adding more mom's all the time, we would have chapter's all over.....Like "Good Grief-Aiken";"Good Grief-Beaufort,".etc.......
This will be an interesting change,if this 'ole girl can figure out how to change her blogsite!!!
We are looking to March,'08, now, with adding even more Mom's!
Hope these thoughts have helped you some......
Becky
Sunday, September 16, 2007
MY LOSS..............YOUR GAIN
These are some afternoon thoughts to you all, from my heart.....
Seems like everytime I get ready to go over and be with my "Mom's", I am inundated with questions, from friends, on what to say to people when they lose a child. I have thought about this, and decided to write some thoughts down and pass them along to you.I hope these will be helpful words for you in comforting those you come in contact with who are grieving over the loss of a child.....
(It doesn't have to be just a child either)
Usually, the first question I am asked,is :"What do I say?" You don't erally have to say anything,folks.If you just open your arms wide, and give them time to hug, and weep, if they want to, that is the greatest thing, you can do!
They know that their child is gone, and is not coming back, so what could you say?
Let them talk, and talk and talk.....
One of the greatest things you can do, is to let them talk about their child as much as they want. Remind them about all the neat and precious things about thier child.
You may think you are sparing them pain, by not talking about their loss, but in reality, that's all they want to do.........Let them talk!
I remember coming home from the hospital to find a neighbor cleaning up inside my house;another neighbor fixing lunch; another neighbor answering the phone and still another answering the door......Nobody told them what to do! They just stepped in and did these things. One "secret" person, even planted bulbs out front, because she knew I was getting ready to, and wanted me to have them in the spring.
These were constant reminders of God's love in action, and many of them never said a word. Some brought flowers from their own garden's....something that simple.
It's the idea that you are thinking about them, that makes that mom,or person feel so blessed.When I was in the receiving line at the funeral home,I remember looking up, and seeing my Home Economics Teacher and my 8th grade teacher in line. They were driving all the way home to Florida and called my house in Aiken. One of my friends told them what had happened, and they drove over to the funeral home just to see me..........They are still very dear to me to this day! It's those kinds of things that make Mom's appreciate what you do for us.....
Drop a note of encouragement after a few weeks.....
Place something in their honor,at a charity.....that is a big honor to us!
Establish a memory garden somewhere for those who have died, where everybody can donate plants in their memory.(and the memory of anyone who has died)....... I did this at my church in Aiken!
On their first birthday away, have a celebration dinner for that Mom and her family,if they are close friends, and allow them to celebrate his life.
Bringing pictures and sharing them are good too.
Just be yourself and give your love. God will bless your efforts.
I'm sorry I took so long, but this has been weighing on my mind.I hope it has been of some help to you......
Love you......Becky
Seems like everytime I get ready to go over and be with my "Mom's", I am inundated with questions, from friends, on what to say to people when they lose a child. I have thought about this, and decided to write some thoughts down and pass them along to you.I hope these will be helpful words for you in comforting those you come in contact with who are grieving over the loss of a child.....
(It doesn't have to be just a child either)
Usually, the first question I am asked,is :"What do I say?" You don't erally have to say anything,folks.If you just open your arms wide, and give them time to hug, and weep, if they want to, that is the greatest thing, you can do!
They know that their child is gone, and is not coming back, so what could you say?
Let them talk, and talk and talk.....
One of the greatest things you can do, is to let them talk about their child as much as they want. Remind them about all the neat and precious things about thier child.
You may think you are sparing them pain, by not talking about their loss, but in reality, that's all they want to do.........Let them talk!
I remember coming home from the hospital to find a neighbor cleaning up inside my house;another neighbor fixing lunch; another neighbor answering the phone and still another answering the door......Nobody told them what to do! They just stepped in and did these things. One "secret" person, even planted bulbs out front, because she knew I was getting ready to, and wanted me to have them in the spring.
These were constant reminders of God's love in action, and many of them never said a word. Some brought flowers from their own garden's....something that simple.
It's the idea that you are thinking about them, that makes that mom,or person feel so blessed.When I was in the receiving line at the funeral home,I remember looking up, and seeing my Home Economics Teacher and my 8th grade teacher in line. They were driving all the way home to Florida and called my house in Aiken. One of my friends told them what had happened, and they drove over to the funeral home just to see me..........They are still very dear to me to this day! It's those kinds of things that make Mom's appreciate what you do for us.....
Drop a note of encouragement after a few weeks.....
Place something in their honor,at a charity.....that is a big honor to us!
Establish a memory garden somewhere for those who have died, where everybody can donate plants in their memory.(and the memory of anyone who has died)....... I did this at my church in Aiken!
On their first birthday away, have a celebration dinner for that Mom and her family,if they are close friends, and allow them to celebrate his life.
Bringing pictures and sharing them are good too.
Just be yourself and give your love. God will bless your efforts.
I'm sorry I took so long, but this has been weighing on my mind.I hope it has been of some help to you......
Love you......Becky
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